Male Involvement Is Crucial For Quality Life Outcomes: But Do Ugandan Men Know What It Takes?
A familiar song by Michael Bolton or should I say, an
ear worm keeps playing inside my head….
“When a man loves a woman
Can't keep his mind on nothin' else……
When a man loves a woman
Spend his very last dime
When a man loves a woman
I give you everything I've got (yeah)…..”
I posit that in the care and assurance of quality life,
self, spouse and children, there are fundamentals that people who chose to
uphold such a responsibility must uphold. Humans are always a high maintenance
category.
Three elements of self-preservation must be allowed to
catalyse realisation of life’s goals.
These are sensitivity; autonomy; and agency.
Sensitivity to the needs of others as well as those of
self (sensibility); autonomy of individuals allowing for realisation of dreams;
agency must be such that a person is provided for to pursue happiness, liberty
and engage in activities geared at self-development. The person must be allowed
to become aware of their opportunities, ability to make life improving choices
and a freedom to participate in activities toward a fulfilled life.
A spouse or child, is an individual or person whose
sensibility, autonomy and agency have to be acknowledged and they have to be
promoted at the minimum and without compromise.
So, when a man loves the woman, it is not only because
of companionship and mutually reciprocated acts of charity. It is also because
together they are bound in a promise to see to it that each other’s
sensibility, autonomy and agency are supported (and not subverted).
When a man and a woman decide to be spouses, decide to
bear and bring up children (I almost said, rear until my manners reigned me
in), and commit to taking care of each other, then they also indirectly agree
to support sensibility, autonomy and agency of each other.
But, what is this thing called sensibility?
Sensibility is directly linked to needs and wants.
When humans are hungry, they are satiated by food. In order to survive, thrive
and live even in an inclement weather, humans learnt to construct houses. In
order to associate amicably, humans learnt how to relate. In order to belong,
humans devised the family unit structure. In order to be assured of supplies
and commodities that in turn improve quality of life, humans devised means of
exchange of commodities. So, to unpack the term sensibility is to understand
the subjective entities it is composed. To address each other’s sensibilities,
means a provider or benefactor has to commit to addressing needs of those under
her/his care. Issues of sensibilities are about the responsibility one has to
uphold. These are things we do because we must and unconditionally.
So, what is autonomy then?
According to the Dictionary, the word Autonomy means, “the capacity of an agent to act rationally and objectively rather than under the influence of desires”.
Right of way is to a road user as autonomy is to any
individual. They must enjoy their space, privacy, ownership of property, access
to a means of a productive life, liberty to say no or yes and an allowance to
pursue their dreams.
And agency?
According to studies, the word agency means, “the capacity of individuals to act
independently and to make their own free choices”.
We have seen sensibility and autonomy. These two
cannot be fully achieved unless an individual/person is allowed to explore,
experiment, develop knowledge, gain skills and apply learned lessons.
When a man loves a woman he must be ready to promote
sensibility, autonomy and agency.
When a man and woman become spouses, they both are
bound by the promise to mutually promote each other’s sensibility, autonomy and
agency.
When a man and woman who have become spouses, also
commit to have children, then they are duty-bound to see to it that their
children are provided opportunities to address their sensibility, autonomy and
agency.
So, men style up. Don’t just do things “faa” (meaning
without critically understanding your commitment levels). Male involvement is
crucial for quality life outcomes, Ugandan men should know what it takes. This
means they have to know that relationships come with responsibilities.
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The ability to access resources that improve life is so essential to happiness, self determination, knowledge gathering, awareness and skills development for both males, females and children. It makes humans realise their full potential. In this picture, we gathered as a team after attending a community dialogue session on various aspects improving quality of life for individuals. We concluded that humans have inherent needs which have to be fulfilled regularly and once not addressed would lead to poor/stunted growth, no development and general depression. Source: SAI-2019
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Pictures above show community members attending a community dialogue sessions. This allows members to share knowledge, skills and experiences among each other on a number of health and development issues. This is a community empowerment event, where men, women and children can contribute to what can improve their life. In these pictures, women were able to talk about health issues unique to them and pointed out how men could support them in seeking services for self care. Source: SAI-2019.
Men and women have different health priorities in life, it is paramount that they are provided mentored guidance as they think through different options in order for them to make informed choices. This in turn allows them to plan how and where to seek services, be they health or development related. It is also important for couples to make these choices together to assist them in planning for their resources as they look after each other or decide to raise their children. In this picture, couples are planning together and deciding on aspects such as clinic or training days, resources and other logistics to plan for improving life. When spouses plan together, it increases on how well they mutually understand the needs each face as unique individuals. Source: SAI-2019.
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