Lessons learned During Consultative Meeting with Personal Assistant to Permanent Secretary Ministry of Health (MoH), Uganda

If one were to ask us what we do at SAI, in a statement or two we would straight away say: “… we pride ourselves with providing catalytic opportunities for men to promote or uplift self-esteem and dignity affirmation toward themselves, their spouses and children.” This is a very loaded statement no doubt. But, let us break it down for you.

We assume that males are the heads of households, companies, village councils and take on leadership roles in many cases before women or children are chosen.

We also assume that males are responsible, duty-bearing and in the overall they care for those under them. They are a go-to in many cases. When one wants to find direction from a group of women, men and children. A man will answer and the rest will be silent.

Stories that abound involving violent acts at household level between spouses can be traced back to attributions, roles and expectations experienced by males and females as far as societies go. On a Provider-producer scale, males acquired the “provider” stature and females acquired the “producer” stature. Males can easily double as provider-producers too. It is assumed that females cannot or should not get to this level.

When it comes to accessing, sharing or using resources. Males have normed the provider-producer stature that their character, sense of self and accomplishment revolve around this attribute. So, they have allocated themselves powers basing on this. This in turn influences the roles they play. Where they feel threatened by changes they become rigid. Where they feel they can be seen to be the benevolent they are bound to share. This brings in the notion of role change and role equity. When men are rigid they are scared of role changes. This is called role change vulnerability or they are scared of the unknown. When men feel they are to be acknowledged and given recognition for what they do, then they give leeway to women or children. This is known as role-equity and it explains why men give in to women and children some of the times.

It is with this background that at SAI, we came up with an idea that revolves around the untapped potential in males. Once males are allowed to look at themselves as enablers in society, once they are empowered to accept females and children as humans who deserve dignity, then they can be change agents.

Identify males anywhere, empower them to invest time in affirmative care for their families; engage them in designs that promote strategic filial care; let them be mindful of their provider roles and one will be bound to see drastic changes in male-female relationships that are uplifting.  With this in mind, we came across a video by a gentleman who was talking the same language we share here.

Remember in the Bible when Jesus’ disciples were questioning John the Baptist’s disciples who were healing people? It is human nature to be taken back by acts of wonder which are similar to your own. In other words there is little that is new in the world. When asked, Jesus reassured the flabbergasted disciples that they should welcome John the Baptist’s disciples in their midst. If possible they could even go and consult them. We took our cue from this Biblical scenario.

Those who have watched “Think About It” Videos made by Mr. Kigudde Ivan Goodheart,  must have come across one on the theme of male-female relationships. One can attest to three facts about this very video:

The video preaches today’s catalytic Gospel: 

It is a Gospel as scathing, no nonsense, simple, practical and as relevant as love is relevant today and in Jesus time.

It is a Gospel of humility and mutual compassion between males and females.

Lastly, it is a prophecy too calling on all of us to act toward our love for each other. Men should walk the talk. Females should walk the talk and children should too.

There is where Mr. Kigudde talks of the values and responsibilities that males have had over time. It is so touching and so shocking how males just laid aside these mutual dignity affirming roles. Mr. Kigudde calls on men to avoid assault or battering their wives. This is counter-active, an abuse and in many cases can cause deaths. In this particular video, Mr. Kigudde provides historical background about how males treated their spouses and how this spread mutual respect, love and dignity in different spaces. He talked of a time when it was unheard of for men to spite women. He left off with a cautionary note: “Instead of battering and physical assault, why not resolve issues by de-escalation or conversations on how to do things better without resorting to fights?”

SAI follows this same philosophy. We want to involve males in rediscovering how they can love, spread respect and affirm dignity. It is what makes us who we are! We believe it is possible Men can love again and celebrate societies free from violence. Yes we believe! It is our story, our hope.

This video is a copyright material titled "Think about it" by Kigudde Ivan GoodHeart.